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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142335">Spiders Crawl Away From You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyharley/pseuds/hollyharley'>hollyharley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spiders Crawl Collective (Independent Works) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, CSA, Drowning, Flashbacks, Gen, Good Friend Ned Leeds, Happy Ending, Irondad, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Tony Stark, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, cocsa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:21:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyharley/pseuds/hollyharley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i> He was no Spiderman, no superhero. He wasn't strong. He was just a scared little boy. </i> </p><p>Peter falls into the abyss Skip Westcott created, and his family has to help pull him out of it. </p><p> </p><p>  <i> XX I'm disregarding canon oopsies~ XX </i></p><p> </p><p>  <b> - ALL works in the Spiders Crawl Collective can be read as stand-alones!!- </b></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spiders Crawl Collective (Independent Works) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>228</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger/Content Warnings are at the beginning of each chapter. I try to include all possible things there. However, if you have a specific trigger, feel free to ask in the comments (anon is available) or ask/message me on tumblr (hollypurcellhurts).</p><p>Word count is also at the beginning of each chapter.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b> tw: past sexual abuse/COSCA, teenagers kissing (but nothing more) </b><br/>---------<br/>word count: 2042</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter reminded himself: <em>Th</em><em>is is what normal teenagers do.</em></p><p>He was trying. He had said it was fine. Honestly, asking MJ to stop would be really rude, wouldn't it? He had wanted to. MJ wanted this, and he wanted to be a good boyfriend. He wanted to be a normal boyfriend. But he also really, <em> really </em> didn’t want to do this anymore.</p><p>They'd just been kissing, but MJ must've noticed Parker's heart wasn't into it because she pulled away.</p><p>"Peter?" </p><p>He stayed silent. <em>Good boy, Einstein. It'll be over soon. </em>"Peter?"</p><p>He glanced upward. MJ's face was twisted with concern. Guilt welled up in Peter's throat and burned his eyes. He <em>really </em>screwed up this time. He was embarrassed about the way he was acting. Especially with someone he liked- <em>loved</em>- so much. </p><p>Peter started shaking. "I'm sorry, MJ. I'm sorry. I can... I can be good. We can do what you want and-"</p><p>"Hey! If you don't want to yet, it's okay. It's really okay." She stared right into his eyes, and he turned his body away from her. "C is for consent, right?" She chuckled; the sex ed instructor that came from the city always said that to the students, and they asked what the other letters stood for. P is for penis. A is for ass. Peter normally didn't laugh at it. Normally, neither did MJ<em>. </em>He must've really freaked her out.</p><p>Peter stared at the carpet on her floor. He just wanted to stay still until it was over. He should be able to shake it off. It had been years since <strong>HE </strong>happened. But he couldn't.</p><p>"It's really okay," MJ repeated gently. "Come on. Want to go to the bodega?"</p><p>Fear flooded his veins at that phrase. <em>Come on, Einstein!  </em>Peter tried to focus on his surroundings rather than the situation. The carpet had the periodic table printed on it. <strong>HE </strong>helped him with a science project once. <strong>HE</strong> was nice to Peter. <em>It's just a game, Einstein! Come on!</em></p><p>"Peter?" A hand touched his leg.</p><p>"No! Please!" He shrunk away, feeling like he was right back there on <strong>HIS </strong>couch. It hurt like it hurt then, and a wave of nausea rushed through him. Peter curled up in a ball and pulled himself as far away from MJ as he could.</p><p>He was no Spiderman, no superhero. He wasn't strong. He was just a scared little boy. "I don't want to! Please!"</p><p>"Peter! It's okay! We don't have to!" MJ's voice was frantic. "We don't have to do anything." The bed shifted; he glanced upward to see MJ was now kneeling in front of him. "Please, Peter, tell me what's wrong." She tried to meet his gaze, but he was avoiding it. MJ being on the floor reminded him of when <strong>HE </strong>made Peter kneel, when <strong>HE </strong>had made Peter do those things. <strong>HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM.</strong></p><p>Peter's gaze was a ping pong ball around the room. Lamp. Bookshelf. Poster. He paused and looked closely at the <em>Animal Farm </em>poster tacked up on the wall. The red pig on it seemed to stare at him.</p><p><strong>HE</strong> didn't like to read. <strong>HE</strong> only went to the library to play on the computers. And use the vending machine. MJ wasn't like <strong>HIM </strong>at all. Peter was so stupid to even be scared of her. He finally looked back at MJ, and she delicately took hold of his hand. She looked solemnly at him. Her mouth was a straight line. Her eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>"Peter, tell me what's wrong."</p><p>Peter shifted off the bed and onto the floor so she wouldn't be kneeling in front of him like <strong>HIM</strong>, and it allowed him to calm down, a little. MJ's frizzy hair wasn't in its normal ponytail. It rested on her shoulders. She looked beautiful.</p><p>"You look really pretty," he croaked out. "You- you said you want to go to the bodega?"</p><p>MJ crossed her arms. "You're deflecting." He missed the warmth of her hand, but he didn't reach for it. </p><p>He let out a forced laugh and gave her a crooked smile. "MJ, I'm okay, really." Her face told him she didn't believe a word he said. But he had no intention in telling her about <strong>HIM</strong>. Never. <em>Never</em>. </p><p>Peter stood. "I actually think... I have to go. I have that math test, and I don't want to fail it, and May wouldn't want me home too late, so I think we can hang out later." Every cell in his body screamed <em>Run! </em>Peter grabbed his backpack off MJ's desk. </p><p>MJ stood and looked at him skeptically. "You mean the math test I was going to help you study for?"</p><p>"I have to go." He got to her bedroom door and felt another stab of guilt. He turned to look at her worried face. "I'm sorry, MJ." </p><p>He walked out of the apartment. He ignored her when she called out to him- "Text me when you get home!"</p><p>He wasn't planning on it.</p>
<hr/><p>Peter managed to get two blocks away before he threw up.</p><p>He hid in an alleyway, but come on, this was Queens, New York City. No one gave a shit about anyone else. He could’ve just thrown up on the sidewalk, in full view. <em>People are all evil. They just want to take and take and take.</em></p><p><strong>HE</strong> took and took and took.</p><p>Maybe Peter was lucky. It was only one time, right? He has told himself that so many times, but he still felt bad.</p><p>It’s so easy to ruin a kid. One act, one touch, one coercion... You use a kid once, and it’s over.</p><p>Once his lunch wasn’t in his stomach anymore, he stepped back and leaned against a brick wall. His nausea was fading which was a blessing. He remembered after <strong>HE</strong> happened, Peter hadn’t been able to take off his pants without feeling sick for months.</p><p>His suit was stuffed in his backpack, but he was unwilling to get it out. He couldn’t even pretend to be a hero today. He really just wanted to go home.</p><p>Anyways, to get into his suit, he would have to strip down in this alley- being seen entering a building as Peter and exiting as Spiderman was too big a risk- and Peter felt like he never, ever wanted to take off his clothes again. He pulled out his sweater and put it on instead. It was two sizes too big for him. He bought it like that on purpose; it made him feel safe.</p><p>He walked the crowded streets to the subway station. It was nerve wracking. What had happened at MJ's had set off a switch inside him. His body believed everyone was a threat. He ducked his head and hunched his shoulders in hope that it would make him invisible.</p><p>Despite this, he still took the long way, adding a couple blocks to his route. This was normal for him. He always avoided Einstein Bros. Bagels.</p><p>The train was crowded, and he spent the entirety of the ride worried that some guy in a business suit was following him (until he got off a stop before Peter), but he finally made it home. </p><p>"May?" he called. He locked the door, then he jiggled the handle once, twice, three times, to make sure it was locked. No one answered. May was at work, and he knew she wouldn't be home for a couple hours. </p><p>He let out a sigh in relief and forced his shoulders to un-tense. He was safe. He was safe in his apartment. He didn't have to be on the lookout for danger anymore. </p><p>This realization drained all the adrenaline out of him, and Peter nearly sank to his knees right in front of the door. He stumbled to his room, shoved his backpack onto the floor, and crawled up the ladder and into his bed. He yawned. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He stared at the side rail of his bed. He tried not to remember <strong>HIM</strong>. But of course, Peter couldn't stop the memories from hitting him.</p><p>
  <em>Skip's blond hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip's orange couch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip's bare skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip's boxer shorts on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip taking Peter's shirt off. His pants off. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Peter begging: Please, Skip, <strong>DON'T!</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip ignoring him.</em>
</p><p>Peter dug his fingernails into his palms. He didn't want to remember. But he never had a say in it, did he? He kept just kept remembering.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em> <strong>Bang!</strong> </em>
</p><p>Peter jumped up with a start. Door. It was the door, shutting. He must have fallen asleep at some point. Now, he was wide awake and trying to fight off the aftermath of getting startled. He was breathing heavy; his eyes were squeezed shut, and his shoulders were up at his ears.</p><p>He couldn't remember the exact breathing exercises Dr. Rebecca- a child psychologist- had given him, years ago, but he tried. He forced himself to breathe slowly and steady. Slow and steady.</p><p>"Peter?"</p><p>Aunt May was standing at his door, which he had neglected to close. Shit. She had probably seen him sitting there, looking like a crazy person. He plastered a smile onto his face.</p><p>"Hey, May. What's up?"</p><p>She gave him a worried glance and stepped closer to his bed. "P, how are you feeling?" she asked, ignoring his own question.</p><p> <strong>HE </strong>had happened five years ago. May and Ben had to do so much because he hadn't gotten away-  worry about him, worry about <strong>HIM</strong>, worry about everything... AND pay for therapy. And then Uncle Ben had died, and Aunt May was left with a kid she never intended on having. So, it was honestly better for her if he didn't talk about it.</p><p>Not that he wanted to, anyways.</p><p>He'd gotten away from Dr. Rebecca and hadn't talked about it since. Acting like he was fine was the best way to assure Aunt May, and he had done that pretty well over the years. </p><p>Except now she had caught him.</p><p>Peter climbed down from his bed and leaned against the ladder. "Pretty good, Aunt May. How was work?"</p><p>"Peter, I- I don't want to me that..." she scrunched her nose, "nosey parent-slash-guardian, but I can tell when something's wrong." She smiled a small smile. "I'm here for you, kiddo. We can talk."</p><p>He folded his arms in front of his chest. "Nothing's wrong, Aunt May. I'm just tired from school. I got this math test and a lot of homework. You know how It is.”  </p><p>May frowned. "Normally, you're out doing your... extracurricular activity right now. And I saw you kinda freaking out on your bed when I walked in. Come on, P."</p><p>
  <em>Come on, Einstein!</em>
</p><p>"Something's bothering you." </p><p>
  <em>Come on, Einstein! </em>
</p><p>"Did something happen with MJ?"</p><p>
  <em>Come on, Einstein!</em>
</p><p>Anger and anxiety mingled in Peter's chest. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? </p><p>"I'm just tired from school, May, okay?! I have a stupid math test and a lot of homework, and it doesn't help when you won't take my word for something!" He grit his teeth and turned away. "Just leave me alone!"</p><p>Aunt May took a step back in shock, and he felt a stab of guilt in his chest. He never yelled at her. Ever.</p><p>"Maybe I should just give you some space, huh, P? I was a teenager once. I know what it's like." She leaned forward, and her hand reached out to tussle his hair. Before he could think, Peter reacted; he jumped backward, landing on top of his desk. He crouched with his arms at his chest, hands in rudimentary fists- ready to protect himself.</p><p>Aunt May yanked her hand back. He stared at the floor, face flushing with embarrassment. His aunt nervously picked at an imaginary thread on her pants. An awkward silence passed.</p><p>"I didn't mean to scare you, Peter." She spoke softly, sadly. She knew. It was clear she knew, and Peter hated it. "I'm going to make some dinner, and then I'll come check up on you, okay?"</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>"Peter, I love you, all right?" He didn't respond, and she left, shutting the door behind her.</p>
<hr/><p>Ten minutes later, Peter quietly opened his window and climbed out into the New York night. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please let me know if the way I referred to Skip (<b> HE/HIM </b>) was confusing!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b> TW: past sexual abuse/COCSA, <span class="u"> drowning, suicidality </span>, emetophobia (very quick mention)</b><br/>-<br/>word count: 2824<br/>-<br/>Thank you so much to those who commented and left kudos and read!!! FWI, I don't have a beta so there may be mistakes. let me know if you'd like (I'm a sucker for grammar lol)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter loved the freedom of jumping from the rooftops. He had slipped his old homemade mask over his head before sneaking out of his bedroom, so he felt safe. Anonymous. Not Spider-Man. Not any type of victim. Not even Peter. Just a spider, making its way through the city. </p><p>Peter knew he had to leave home the moment Aunt May started cooking. The clatter of pans, the oppressive heat of the oven creeping into his room, the way May had looked at him with her sorrowful brown eyes... it was too much. It caused a chaotic energy to grow in him, and he needed a way to burn it- or he felt like he would explode.</p><p>Ahead, he saw a couple yelling at each other on a rooftop. They quieted as he grew closer. Maybe they expected their friendly neighborhood Spider-man. But he simply ran past them and leapt onto the next rooftop. Then onto another. And another. Until the couple- and May and MJ- were a speck in the horizon. He crossed every rooftop, skittered up every wall, never stopping to see anyone or hear anything.</p><p>What he was failing to outrun, however, were his memories. The darkness followed him, pulled at him, crowded his mind- no matter how fast he was running. He was tired anyways. He could feel his blood pounding in his head. He gave in to the demands of his mind and body. He slowed, and stopped. He was on a roof of an abandoned factory in God-know's-where Queens. He crouched, breathing deeply. <em>Skip digging his nails into his side. </em>He looked at the skyline, the burning sun. <em>Skip's orange couch</em>. The sky was a beautiful gradient of pink and purple. <em>Skip pulling his boxers off. </em></p><p>His brain was soaked with memories of <strong>HIM</strong>. <em>Skip showing him porn. Skip telling him to stay. Skip making Peter- </em>"No!" </p><p>Peter yelled at the sun. He didn't want it to happen. He wanted to go back and pull that stupid twelve-year-old boy out of the Westcott home. But out of all the powers he got, he couldn't time travel. He couldn't stop it from happening over and over in his head. All he could do was scream. So he screamed. He screamed at <strong>HIM</strong>. He screamed at May, and Ben and Ben's killer and his parents and <strong>HIS </strong>parents. He screamed at himself. He screamed until he was sure his vocal chords were ruined. "I HATE HIM! I HATE THAT HE RUINED ME! I HATE-"</p><p>"Shut the fuck up, Spider wannabe, or I'm going to call the damn cops!"</p><p>That sucked Peter back into reality: the dirty rooftop of some old industrial building. He had been kicking junk across the roof, yelling at the sun without seeing that it had faded into the night. Peter located who had yelled. An old man was limping away, shaking his head. With his tattered clothes and old shoes, Peter doubted he would be calling the police. </p><p>But he felt guilty. That guy was goddamn homeless. He had enough on his plate without Peter ruining his night. Guilt swelled in his chest, and it overflowed. He sat on the roof and started to sob. <em>Skip telling him to "stop being a stupid cry baby." Skip telling him this is what all boys do. Skip telling him he must be liking it. </em></p><p><strong>HE </strong>was always with Peter. Every second of every day, <strong>HE </strong>was there, and Peter could share it with no one. He didn't want to worry Aunt May. He didn't want MJ or Ned to know about how disgusting he was. He didn't feel close to anyone else at school. Mr. Stark? No. He could never know how weak Peter really was, or he wouldn't let Peter be a part of the team. And most of the time, Peter loved being Spider-Man. He loved helping people. But right now, he felt far from that. He felt far from everyone.</p><p>He was really lonely.</p><p>Peter dried his tears, stuffing his<em> stupid</em> mask into his backpack, above his suit. (He never left home without his real suit. Never.)  He jumped to the ground and walked towards a less deserted part of the city. He had a destination in mind. He pulled his phone to check the directions. The screen flashed at him.</p><p><strong>May</strong> <strong>Parker     </strong><em>9</em><em>m ago</em><br/>
<sup> Missed Call (1) </sup> </p><p><strong>May Parker    </strong> <em>33m ago</em><br/>
<sup> Peter? </sup></p><p><strong>May Parker    </strong> <em> 50m ago</em><br/>
<sup> Where did you go? Are you OK? </sup></p><p>Peter cursed at himself. He never turned his phone off of silent after school; he was lucky he had checked it. Quickly, he texted her. <em>I'm sorry. I went to MJ's. I just needed to get out. Don't wait up.</em> After looking up the directions, he shoved his phone back into his pocket. Then he got onto a train, then another train. He walked through the suburbs. After 15 minutes of walking, he was there.</p><p>Liz's old house. </p><p>Despite everything, Peter smiled. <em>Liz. </em>It had been years since he had seen her. But the house reminded him of a simpler version of himself: a Peter so full of puppy love that his past was a distant memory he could turn his back to. He knew she lived in Oregon now, but he couldn't help himself. He stepped forward, intending to walk up the walkway and knock on the door. Or maybe sneak his way into the backyard? Just to see it? He stood there, thinking about his options, when he saw movement in the front windows. An Asian man in his thirties opened the door, a young woman peering out behind him. "Can we help you, sir?" His eyes were distrustful. Makes sense. Peter had been staring at their house like a stalker. </p><p>The Toomes didn't live in this house anymore. He needed to get out of here.</p><p>"N-no. Sorry, my friend used to live here." Flustered, he gave them what he hoped was a reassuring smile and stepped back. "Have a nice night!" </p><p>He quickly walked away.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong> "Good evening, Peter." </strong>
</p><p>He smiled at Karen's voice. Even if she was an AI, it was nice to be talking to someone. He was glad he had decided to suit up. He emerged from the thicket of trees he had hid in to change.</p><p>"Hey, Karen!" He began to walk aimlessly through the suburbs. It was 9 PM on a Tuesday night. The streets were empty. </p><p>
  <strong> "Hi, Peter. You didn't suit up for patrol today." </strong>
</p><p>"Yeah..." He realized if he said anything too worrisome, Karen might report to Mr. Stark. So, for the third time today, he used the same lie. "I have a math test tomorrow, so I was studying."</p><p>
  <strong> "You are 11.1 kilometers from home. Would you like me to direct you there?" </strong>
</p><p>"No. I just want to walk around for awhile."</p><p>
  <strong>"All right."</strong>
</p><p>"I was just getting lonely," Peter explained. </p><p>
  <b>"Adolescents often feel isolated, especially when under the pressure of school. Social support helps ease these feelings. Would you like me to call Ned or Michelle for you?"</b>
</p><p>"No! No!" he urged. "I'm fine." </p><p>
  <strong>"A four door vehicle with two passengers is approaching from up ahead."</strong>
</p><p>The head lights of a van nearly blinded him. The van slowed as it got closer. When it stopped, he automatically positioned himself in a defensive stance. The driver's window rolled down. A woman stuck her head out, her eyes wide. She smiled an awkward smile. "Are you really Spider-Man?" He nodded. She looked like she doubted him, but continued talking anyways. "My son is a huge fan. Is it all right if we get a picture?"</p><p>Peter leaned closer to see the other passenger: a young boy, wearing a soccer uniform, rapidly looking back and forth between his mom and Peter. He was nearly vibrating from excitement. No doubt the only reason he hadn't jumped out of the car already was because his mother told him to wait. </p><p>Peter relaxed and stood up straight. "That sounds like a great idea," he said kindly. Still, he could see the mother was hesitant. He suddenly felt a bond to her. She wanted to protect her son, and Peter did too. He spotted the white front of a house a handful of yards away. That would do. "Here, watch this!" He flicked his wrist, and the bright red Spider-Signal shone on the wall. To add to the pizzazz, he did a couple of back flips. The mother and son clapped in delight. His performance must have convinced the woman he wasn't some Times Square knock off because she nodded to her son, and they stepped out of the car. </p><p>The boy and Peter were ushered under a street light, and the woman took a picture with her phone. Peter's hand hovered an inch from the boy's back. He didn't want to touch a little kid like some creep. After the mother took a bunch of photos (and a selfie at Peter's insistence) and said thanks, she and her son got back into their van and drove away. </p><p>Peter was alone again. That is, until Karen spoke up a second later.</p><p>
  <strong>"Hello, Peter."</strong>
</p><p>"Karen!" he yelped, breathing heavy. She had startled him. </p><p>
  <strong>"I apologize for startling you. You have one missed call from Michelle. Would you like me to call her for you?</strong>
</p><p>"No, it's okay. Thanks, Karen.</p><p>
  <strong>"You have two texts from Aunt May. Would you like me to read them to you?"</strong>
</p><p>He regretted asking Mr. Stark to connect his phone to the suit. "No thanks, Karen."</p><p>
  <strong>"You also have three texts from Ned. Would you like me to read them?"</strong>
</p><p>"No."</p><p>
  <b>"I am concerned about your emotional well-being, Peter."</b>
</p><p>"Just shut up, Karen! I'm fine!"</p><p>
  <strong>"All right, Peter."</strong>
</p><p>He walked in silence. His spike of anger subsided, and the sounds of nighttime creatures were not enough to distract him.</p><p>
  <em>Skip's orange couch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skip's boxer shorts, on the floor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>MJ's worried face. </em>
</p><p>An unfamiliar darkness unfurled itself from his chest. It spoke to him, telling him he could be free from himself. It told him where to go.</p><p>"Karen?"</p><p>
  <strong>"Yes, Peter?"</strong>
</p><p>"You remember when the Vulture dropped me in that lake?"</p><p>
  <strong>"I remember everything, Peter."</strong>
</p><p>"Can you take me there?"</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>"You are 200 meters from the lake."</strong>
</p><p>Peter stumbled in the dark to the edge of the water. Exhausted from his entire day, he sat down under a weeping willow.</p><p>His phone's ringtone played into his ears. <strong>"Aunt May is calling. Would you like to answer?"</strong></p><p>He sighed. "No." The ringing stopped. "I just need some time alone." He stared out into the lake, watching a piece of wood drift slowly across the surface. "Karen, do you think I'm a bad boyfriend?"</p><p>
  <strong>"Why do you think that, Peter?"</strong>
</p><p>"I just do everything wrong." He sniffed, something along the lines of sadness building up inside of him. "I just do everything wrong."</p><p>
  <strong>"That's untrue, Peter. Would you like to listen to a list of your accomplishments?"</strong>
</p><p>"That's Spider-Man. Not me."</p><p>
  <strong>"You are Spider-Man."</strong>
</p><p>Tears spilled out of him, and he felt the fabric on his cheeks grow damp. "I couldn't even kiss her. I'm just broken."</p><p>
  <strong>"Is this due to the anniversary of-"</strong>
</p><p>"NO! STOP!"</p><p>
  <strong>"All right, Peter."</strong>
</p><p>He lay down under the tree and looked up at its branches. They reached down over him; the soft embrace of Mother Earth protecting him. </p><p>
  <strong>"Are you feeling all right, Peter?"</strong>
</p><p>"I'm just tired." He sat up again, the darkness attacking him from the inside out. It was sinister, and it sounded just like the teenage boy who had destroyed Peter's life so long ago. It whispered to him, <em>You are unworthy. You can put your family out of their misery. It would be better for them if you were gone.</em></p><p>
  <em>You don't have to live like this anymore.</em>
</p><p>He stood. "I'm really tired, Karen." How was he going to do this? He didn't want Karen to call Mr. Stark. "I want to practice being in the lake," he lied. "Don't call Mr. Stark, okay? I just want to practice in case there's... an invasion or something. I never get to swim."</p><p><strong>"All right, Peter." </strong>He looked up again at the weeping willow. The moonlight shone on its leaves, and they seemed to cascade down towards the ground. Demeter's waterfall. He reached up and touched a couple of the leaves. He was grateful he got to see so many beautiful things like this. The little bit of MJ's hair that fell in front of her face when she smirked at him. Aunt May's smile when she teased him. The windows in Mr. Stark's Avenger's compound. The Star Wars replicas he built with Ned. It was all beautiful. </p><p>But it wasn't enough compared to <strong>HIM. </strong></p><p>"Can you text Aunt May? And MJ and Ned?"</p><p>
  <strong>"Sure. What would you like to tell them?"</strong>
</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>
  <strong>"Sent."</strong>
</p><p>"And tell Mr. Stark I'm sorry." He edged closer to the water. He didn't feel like Peter anymore. He was simply a darkness with one final mission. To end.</p><p>
  <strong>"For what, Peter?"</strong>
</p><p>"Just for everything. I'm going to go practice swimming now, okay?"</p><p><strong>"Your behavior is indicating-</strong> </p><p>"I'll put the suit back on and then go home after," he interrupted. "Bye, Karen." Without waiting to see if the AI believed his lie, he ripped off his mask and threw it to the side. No more Karen. He was alone. Except for Skip Westcott- but Peter would soon be free of <strong>HIM </strong>too.</p><p>
  <em>Come on, Einstein!</em>
</p><p>He dived into the water.</p>
<hr/><p>The chill drove all remnants of the day out of Peter's head. His one goal was to go deeper.</p><p>For a moment, Peter panicked. The water was so murky; he wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down. He let out a little his last breath, which solved his problem. He watched the bubbles of air go from his nose towards the surface, then he went the other way. </p><p>Down. </p><p>Down.</p><p>Down.</p><p>The bubbles stopped, but he knew the way.</p><p>Down.</p><p>Down.</p><p>Down.</p><p>His lungs burned. He ignored them. </p><p>Down.</p><p>Down.</p><p>Down.</p><p>Down. The darkness enveloped him, inside and out. He couldn't see well, and it caused him to swim right into the bottom of the lake. His body was out of air, so when he stopped swimming, his feet floated gently to the dirt. He wanted air. Badly. But the darkness, in <strong>HIS </strong>voice, told him to find a rock, so he found a rock.</p><p><em>Shoot a web. </em>He shot a web at the rock.</p><p><em>Tie it around your ankle.  </em>He tied it around his ankle.</p><p><em>Do it again. Until it's nice and secure. </em>He did as he was told.</p><p>
  <em>Let go. It's over.</em>
</p><p>Silence, for once, from Skip. Peter's body took over. It wanted air, and he began to struggle despite his initial wishes. Peter thrashed and screamed and tried to swim, but he was stuck. He was stuck in the darkness. He couldn't free himself, and he knew it was over, but he kept on fighting, fighting, fighting, sending webs up towards what he thought was the surface... until he couldn't help himself and took in a deep breath. His body was relieved, until it realized that this was all wrong. It was still drowning, but on the inside.</p><p>Skip was back. but not just in his head. <strong>HE</strong> swam in front of Peter and ran <strong>HIS</strong> hand through Peter's hair. Peter was too tired to pull away. Even though they were underwater, he heard <strong>HIS </strong>voice clearly. </p><p>
  <em>"Good boy, Einstein. It'll be over soon."</em>
</p><p>Skip was gone, and Aunt May was there. MJ. Ned. Even Uncle Ben and Mr. Stark. They were all trying to pull him free. They told him they loved him. They asked why he did this, but he was too out of it to answer. He was happy to see them, one last time. Even if it was a hallucination.</p><p>His family faded. Black spots grew across his vision. One speck caught his eye. He swore one was getting bigger. He watched it grow. Its darkness reached out for him. It put its arms around him. Maybe this was Death, here to finally take him? He could hear a man yelling his name in the distance. <em>Peter! Peter! </em></p><p><em>It must be Uncle Ben, </em>he thought. <em>Or maybe Dad. </em></p><p>The weight of the rock pulling him down was gone. Death must have cut the web tethering him to it. He felt Death pulled him upward, and he hoped when he met his parents again, they wouldn't be disappointed by him.</p><p>Then there was blackness.</p>
<hr/><p>Someone was pressing into his chest. Over and over and over. They blew into his mouth. </p><p>Peter opened his eyes, leaned over, and vomited. He coughed. A hand hit his back.</p><p>His first thought: <em>I'm not dead. </em></p><p>His second thought: <em>Who saved me?</em></p><p>"Peter!"</p><p>He looked up hazily, even though he suspected he already knew the answer.</p><p>"M- Mr. Stark?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Irondad is hereeee</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b> tw: references to: past drowning, hospitalization (not bad or abusive), past sexual abuse/COCSA, investigation into past sexual abuse, past victim blaming, antidepressants </b><br/>------<br/>word count: 3809</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony, breathing heavy, replied to Peter only after checking something- probably Peter's heart beat or oxgen level or God knows what- on his suit. "Yeah, Kid. I'm going to check your vitals. Oh, God, you must be cold."</p><p>Peter felt his suit warm up. It was nice. He tried to watch what Tony was doing, but holding his head up was too much work. So he gave up trying to pay attention and rested his head on the ground. He stared up at the night sky. He couldn't see many stars. If he saw a shooting star, what would he wish for?</p><p>After a few minutes, he heard a sigh of relief.  "You're okay, Kid. Your powers helped. Nothing long-term. Just stay on the ground for now." </p><p>Peter didn't answer. He still wasn't sure if he was happy or angry with Mr. Stark. He couldn't feel anything. All he knew was he would never breathe a breath of air sweeter than that first one, right after he had woken up, ever again. He was glad to hear he was fine. That meant he could just go home and go to sleep. He didn't want to think about how he had almost died.</p><p>He had almost died.</p><p>Peter squeezed his eyes shut, as if not seeing the world would make it disappear... except he could still hear it. He could hear cicadas screaming. He could hear a car honk its horn on the bridge in the distance. He could his breathing. He couldn't hear Tony, though. Peter's mentor had told him he was going to make a call, and his helmet had covered him.</p><p>Peter opened his eyes. He glanced at Stark, who had stepped away, then let his eyes rest upward at the tree branches and sky above. He wondered who Tony was talking to. Aunt May? He wondered if Karen had ratted him out. That must have been it, right? He had no way of getting an answer to his questions, especially since he didn't want to talk to <em>Mr. Stark</em> about this night. Ever.</p><p>He was under a willow tree again. It looked like the one he had been looking at earlier- it could have been the same one- but it didn't seem beautiful. The romantic color the world had been tinted with as he dived into the lake was gone. Drowning wasn't like flying away softly or like going to sleep; it was painful.</p><p>He had almost died.</p><p>It wasn't the first time, but in a way, it was. When he was fighting others, he always knew he would get out of it- as if it was written in his life's script. But this? If Tony had gotten there a minute later, he would have been carrying out a corpse.</p><p>A tear leaked out of Peter's eye. He felt it creep its way down the side of his face and hit his ear. He stared at the tree leaves and swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go away. His heart felt fragile, as if it was made of thin glass. He heard steps coming towards him and quickly wiped the tear away. </p><p>Stark stood over him. He still had his helmet on. "Hey, kid," he said quietly. "Let's go." He held a hand out to Peter. Peter thought he should probably get up himself, but he knew he was weak, so he took Tony's hand- or rather, the metal glove of his suit- and was pulled upward. He had the sudden desire to hug Mr. Stark, to let himself be held while he cried, but he stopped himself. Mr. Stark already knew too much.</p><p>"How are you feeling, kid?"</p><p>"Fine, Mr. Stark. I'm sorry for dragging you out here." He wanted to say <em>It wasn't a big deal</em>, but he knew there was no way he could convince his mentor that tying himself to a rock on the bottom of a lake and nearly drowning wasn't a big deal. He felt really stupid about the whole thing. So he said nothing more.</p><p>"Kid, it's okay."</p><p>"Really, Mr. Stark."</p><p>"Kid, no!" Peter took a wobbly step back. Tony must have realized how angry he sounded because his next words were lighter. "I'm just really glad you're okay. You... you scared us all."</p><p>
  <em>Us? </em>
</p><p>He suddenly remembered the texts he had sent to everyone, including Mr. Stark, before he went into the lake. Shit. </p><p>Stark continued. "We're going to go to the hospital now. I'm flying you to the one near your apartment. Your aunt and Happy are going to meet us there, so you can change." He smiled, but it looked like it was painful. "Wouldn't want them to ask about the suit, right?" He held out his hand for Peter.</p><p>Peter didn't want to go to a hospital. He was tired and empty. He wanted to crawl away from all his problems. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to never wake up. This was a mess.</p><p>"I don't need a hospital, Mr. Stark. I'm feel fine." He shook his hands and jumped around a little. It made him dizzy. (Not that he would admit that). He couldn't see Stark's expression, but from the man's silence, he doubted he had convinced him. "You said it yourself, Mr. Stark. I'm sure Karen and FRIDAY are smarter than doctors anyways. I'm perfectly fine."</p><p>"Kid..."</p><p>Tony's hesitation caused anxiety to take root in Peter's lungs. He could feel its thorns piercing him as he breathed.</p><p>"Your aunt and I agreed, we just need you to get checked on. And there are doctors there who can help."</p><p>Help? Peter ground his teeth together. He knew what type of help they meant. Did they think he was crazy or something? He easily converted his fear and sadness into anger. He was <em>fine</em>. </p><p>"If I needed to be in a hospital then I wouldn't be able to fly anyways! I'm fine!" He took another step back. "I can get home fine, Mr. Stark. I'm really sorry to have bothered you, but I- I have a math test, and I kind of need to get home." He was rambling, but he couldn't stop. He was afraid of that kind of "help" he would be getting, and he was scared of facing Aunt May and MJ and Ned and most of all, he was terrified of facing Skip. "You really just overreacted, Mr. Stark. I'm really fine."</p><p>Those three words sparked something in Tony. He exploded.</p><p>"Fine? <em>Fine, </em>Peter? Fine!" He huffed. "You're fine? I found you about to DIE! You were going to drown! You know how I started- how I knew that you were in danger? It wasn't even Karen! Happy called me, freaking out because of what you texted your aunt. I could hear her, Peter! She was crying! And then Karen blew up my system, telling me about your text and that you were acting suicidal! And I came here and found you in that- in that <em>fucking </em>lake! So don't tell me you're fine! You are NOT fine!" His voice cracked. "You aren't fine, Peter!"</p><p>Tony got out of his suit when he saw Peter start to sob.</p><p>Peter sat down heavily, ignoring the twigs that dug into his legs; his shoulders shook as cries escaped his lips. <em>I almost died. I almost died. I almost died.</em></p><p>
  <em>Skip Westcott. Skip Westcott. Skip Westcott. </em>
</p><p>Stark crouched besides him.</p><p>"Kid... Kid, I'm sorry. I'm too much like my dad. I was just so scared." Peter felt Tony's fingertips on his arm. It was gentle, but the boy still flinched.</p><p>"D- don't," Peter shrieked. Touch reminded him of <strong>HIM</strong>, and that just made him cry even harder. "Please, Mr. Stark. I don't want t- to. I don't want- I don't want you to touch me."</p><p>Tony pulled his hand away. He reached over Peter's head and lightly pulled off the Spider-man cap. "Kid. This about the anniversary, right?"</p><p>Of course he knew. Police reports leave a trail. Peter remembered it all. The confusing statements he had given (normal, for a traumatized kid, but it was held against him). Witnesses from the library saying Skip was <em>such a great influence</em> on <em>shy, </em><em>im</em><em>pressionable </em><em>Peter</em>. By the time Peter told his aunt and uncle, there were no visible marks on him. There was no evidence beyond his word- an orphan's word. An orphan's word against a studious high-schooler's word. Skip had never, <em>ever </em>had any sort of behavioral problem, while Peter had (though no one mentioned that he had only punched that kid because he was a schoolyard bully). And even if it did happen, kids that age get interested in that thing. They were just messing around, right? Kids always get confused. Peter was just confused.</p><p>Five years and two days ago, Steven Westcott raped Peter. A month later, the ruling came: free of all charges.</p><p>Peter couldn't answer. He couldn't put it into words. He just crawled into Tony's arms and screamed.</p>
<hr/><p>His screaming eventually devolved into whimpers. After a while, that ended as well, leaving Peter silent, pressing his forehead against Stark's shoulder.</p><p>Blinded by his anguish, he hadn't stopped to think how he would normally never let any of this happen. He had simply been comforted to finally share this with someone. In the silence, Tony stopped rocking Peter and himself back and forth- which he had started as soon as Peter started screaming. He had wrapped his arms tightly against the kid and pressed his cheek on the top of his head, whispering as they rocked.</p><p><em>"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."</em> </p><p>Peter felt the pressure of Stark's left arm loosen and clutched the man's shirt. He didn't want him to let go. He didn't care if it was stupid or childish. He just didn't want him to let go.</p><p>"I'm just going to tell your aunt we're going to be a minute, all right?" Peter nodded. Tony quickly pulled out his phone, sent a text, and put it in his pocket again. </p><p>"I know it must seem stupid," Stark said with a chuckle. "I have the most powerful electronic devices in my suit, but I still have a smart phone. I like the games, I guess." The image of Tony Stark, billionaire and genius, playing Subway Surfers caused Peter to let out a short laugh, to his surprise.</p><p>"Are you sure you're all right with me touching you, Kid?"</p><p>Peter nodded again, a small smile on his lips. It seemed so kind that Mr. Stark had asked permission. But he wasn't scared. He wanted Mr. Stark to keep protecting him- and the twelve-year-old Peter who lived inside of him.</p><p>Stark turned his head to face the lake. "You know, Kid... I know it's not the same thing, but I know what it's like to be scared." He stayed quiet for a minute. Peter waited. "After New York, I changed. Every little noise would startle me, and I couldn't sit still. I had nightmares. Panic attacks. I was scared of even walking down the street. And that wasn't my fault. A lot of bad things- a lot of <em>traumatic </em>things- have happened to me. It makes sense that I changed." Peter shifted. He knew bad things happened to other people, but still. He knew exactly what Tony was describing.</p><p>"I got help. Real help. I talked to Pepper. And Bruce." Tony stopped and snorted. "Not that he was much help," he added. "But... I also..." He sighed. "It's still hard to admit, even though it shouldn't be, but Kid, it's not a bad thing. I got a therapist. Dr. March. You can't fight trauma alone, right?" Peter nodded. "She's great, by the way. Dr. March."</p><p>Silence again. Tony pulled himself back and looked into Peter's eyes. Peter looked down at the dirt. "Peter, will you look at me, please?"</p><p>Peter looked up. He was so close he could see the brown flecks in the man's eyes.</p><p>"I want to be here in this pain with you. Me and May and Happy and your friends- We can all help, Kid. You can do this, Peter."</p><p>He looked down at the dirt again. "I don't feel that way, Mr. Stark," he whispered. "I can't stop thinking about it. I... I- I told him I didn't want to." He bit his lip, tears threatening to spill. "I told him I didn't want to." His eyes watered, and he looked up at Tony again. "I didn't want him to, Mr. Stark." He started to cry, and he could see tears in Tony's eyes too. Tony softly squeezed his hand and hugged him tightly.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Peter."</p><p>"I sh- shouldn't have gone to his house."</p><p>"You didn't deserve what happened to you. It's called assault, Kid. I'm sorry they didn't believe you. I believe you."</p><p>Peter's cries were less violent than before. "I just wanted it to stop hurting. I didn't want to die."</p><p>"I know, Kid. I love you."</p>
<hr/><p>Peter got out of the limo, and Aunt May climbed out behind him. Stark had demanded he be the one to bring Peter home, and May had complied. Who could deny a limo ride, anyways?</p><p>"'Scuse me, lovely lady" Aunt May jumped back as Tony got out of the limo, Happy behind him.</p><p>Peter had spent the last two weeks in an inpatient program. Not at the original hospital. That would never fly with Tony Stark. The psychiatrist on staff, wide-eyed at the sight of <em>Tony Stark (AKA Iron-Man!!!) </em>standing nervously with his "intern," suggested a place upstate, and the rest was history. He wouldn't let May look at the bill, no matter how many times she protested. </p><p>The hospital had been... a lot. Most of the staff was kind, and the one nurse who had been rude to him and other patients had stopped as soon as Iron-Man showed up and spoke to her supervisor. He had had a lot of work in the hospital. Group therapy, individual therapy, even mental health homework. He started on medication (which his powers did not affect, thank God), which helped some, but what had helped the most was talking. He hadn't talked about <strike><strong>HIM</strong></strike>Skip or what the doctors told him was PTSD before, really, so it was hard to open up. Once he did, though, he found out he wasn't the only one.</p><p>He was still going to go to therapy, twice a week, and a group. He would never wish Skip Westcott upon anyone, but he was looking forward to talking to people who <em>got it</em>.</p><p>"Ready to go, P?" Aunt May pulled him out of his thoughts. She was holding his bag full of clothes. He knew she wanted to help, so he didn't protest. </p><p>He nodded. "This is where I leave you for now, Kid." Tony and Peter hugged. Peter smiled when Tony held on a little longer than normal. </p><p>"Thanks, Mr. Stark."</p><p>Before Tony could answer, Aunt May hugged him. Peter heard her whisper, "Thank you." </p><p>Tony patted her shoulder. "You're both coming for dinner on Sunday, right?" May and Peter told him yes. They said their goodbyes, and with a nod to Happy, Stark got back into his limo and driven away.</p><p>"Come on, Peter." Happy smiled at his girlfriend and Peter, and the trio went up to the apartment. Peter noticed he moved his hand to pat his shoulder but quickly pulled it back. He knew now too. He had come to dinner when he found May worried sick in the apartment that night. She had been doubtful of Peter's excuse and called MJ. Finding out he wasn't where he said he was, she had called him repeatedly, but he didn't answer.</p><p>Peter was so grateful Happy had been there. Not only because he called Stark, but because he had been there for May. Even though he knew it didn't help, Peter felt guilty for causing her so much anxiety. He was glad she had support too.</p><p>Once they settled into the apartment, Aunt May gave him his phone, which he hadn't been allowed to have at the hospital. Tony had his suit for now; the doctors said he wasn't allowed to have anything that could be used as a weapon.</p><p>He missed being in his suit, but what he missed just as much was his phone. He sat on the couch to look at it. He hadn't been able to talk to MJ or Ned since he was hospitalized; when May visited, she assured him she contacted to them, but that wasn't the same. There were some texts from random classmates and a lot of social media notifications. He ignored those. There were specific things he needed to look at. He decided to start with Ned's texts.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>                     Ned Leeds 💻</strong>
</p>
<h5>
  <sup>                        Tue, Sep 25, 8:26 PM</sup>
</h5><p>Hey, did you do the <br/>
review for algebra? Bc i<br/>
have no clue what's<br/>
happening???</p><p>i hate logarithms so much</p><p>lol I have no idea what<br/>
i'm doing Peter help<br/>
meee</p><p>Your aunt AND MJ<br/>
called me. I told them<br/>
your probably fighting<br/>
Thor or something!!! 👊<br/>
🕷️ But you gotta answer <br/>
them bc they're really<br/>
worried. </p><p>                                           I love you.</p><p>I love you too??</p><p>you're*</p><p>MJ said you texted the<br/>
same thing.</p><p>Are you okay????</p>
<h5>
<sup>                        Tue</sup><sup>, Sep 25, 11:21 PM</sup>
</h5><p>Im glad you're okay.</p>
<h5>
<sup>Wed</sup><sup>, Sep 26, 1:37 PM</sup>
</h5><p>Your aunt said you're<br/>
going to be in the<br/>
hospital for awhile so I'll<br/>
send you a bunch of<br/>
memes until you answer!</p><p>
  
</p><p>Peter felt a twinge of guilt for worrying his friend. Along side that was the darkness, telling him Ned knew he was weak. But he ignored it and scrolled through the memes. He texted Ned: <em>LOL. Thanks.</em></p><p>Now he had to look at what MJ had sent him. He looked at his texts. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>                 Michelle Jones 💜</strong>
</p>
<h5>
  <sup>                        Tue, Sep 25, 10:21 PM</sup>
</h5><p>Your aunt called. Why<br/>
did you tell her you<br/>
came to my house?<br/>
I wanted to give you <br/>
space, but I'm worried.</p><p>She said you aren't<br/>
answering her calls<br/>
or texts.</p><p>Why aren't you<br/>
answering us?</p><p>Is this because of<br/>
today? I'm really sorry,<br/>
Peter. I didn't want to<br/>
pressure you.</p><p>Ned hasn't heard from<br/>
you either.</p><p>Please just let us know<br/>
you're okay.</p><p>                                           I love you.</p><p>PETER!</p><p>Are you okay?</p><p>Peter?</p><p>Peter, please answer.</p><p>Please answer. I<br/>
promise I'm not mad.</p><p>Please answer please</p><p>Please answer</p><p>Please, Peter</p>
<h5>
<sup>                        Tue</sup><sup>, Sep 25, 11:30 PM</sup>
</h5><p>I love you too.</p>
<h5>
<sup>Wed</sup><sup>, Sep 26, 3:03 PM</sup>
</h5><p>I'm glad you're taking<br/>
care of yourself now.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Peter wiped away the tears that had fallen onto his screen. His phone chimed. It was Ned.</p><p>
  <em>He's baaaack!!! </em>
</p><p>Peter checked his Recent Phone Calls. There were seven from Aunt May. Six from MJ. He stared at the screen. He had terrified them.</p><p>Now he knew he wasn't alone in this.</p><p>He went back to his text messages and texted Ned back. </p><p>
  <em>Yeah. How has school been?</em>
</p><p>Ned immediately texted back.</p><p>
  <em>It's been terrible without you. Algebra is still confusing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh yeah!!!! Beth Johnson hooked up with Eric! And Flash spilled ramen on himself during lunch!!! It was epic. </em>
</p><p>Ned continued to text Peter, filling him in on all the drama he had missed. After he told Peter about every couples who broke up, one fight, and several rumors, he asked Peter a question.</p><p>
  <em>How was the hospital?</em>
</p><p>Peter bit his lip. For a couple minutes, he had forgotten any of that even happened. <em>It was okay. It helped. I missed talking with you.</em></p><p>
  <em>Let's hang out!</em>
</p><p>Peter smiled. <em>Maybe you can spend the night on Friday?</em></p><p>
  <em>I'll bring the legos.</em>
</p><p>He answered, <em>See you then.</em></p><p>He was happy to text Ned. But he couldn't ignore MJ any longer.</p><p>He texted her, <em>Hey.</em></p><p>Normally, MJ didn't pay attention to her phone and took a long time to answer. But as soon as his message was delivered, Peter saw little the dots indicating she was typing back.</p><p>
  <em>Hey!</em>
</p><p>Peter felt his heart start to beat faster. <em>Can I call you? </em></p><p>She replied. <em>Yeah.</em></p><p>MJ picked up after one ring.</p><p>"Hi."</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>Awkward silence. "Was the hospital okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. Tony put me in a fancy one." </p><p>"That's cool."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"I..." Peter faltered. He had to say it. "It wasn't because of you or- or us kissing. Just... did my aunt tell you anything?"</p><p>"She told me and Ned you tried to hurt yourself."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said.</p><p>"It's not your fault."</p><p>"I'm on antidepressants now."</p><p>He heard a laugh. "I've been on Lexapro for awhile. I was kind of embarrassed to tell you."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah. It's stupid that I felt that way. It's not a big deal. It's just medication." </p><p>"It made me really tired at first."</p><p>"Me too! I nearly fell asleep in Mr. Baker's. Though I don't know if that was because the medication." </p><p>They both laughed.</p><p>"I missed talking to you, MJ."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>Peter shifted on the couch and glanced at May and Happy, who were in the kitchen getting lunch ready. "I want to tell you about it, MJ," he said. "I want to tell you why I freaked out that day. The anniversary was a few weeks ago, and I kept on remembering the guy who..." He squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p><em>You can do this, Peter. </em>That's what Tony had told him by the lake.</p><p>
  <em>You can do this, Peter.</em>
</p><p>"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."</p><p>"No," he told MJ. "I want to tell you. I kept on remembering- I kept on remembering the guy who abused me. It just set me off. But it wasn't you, and I learned some stuff at the hospital."</p><p>"I'm sorry that happened," MJ said softly.</p><p>"It wasn't your fault. I... I wanted to tell you. I want to tell you about it, and the hospital and my PTSD, if it's okay. If you don't think it's gross or something." He forced out a laugh.</p><p>"I don't think you're gross. It's a privilege for you to tell me, Peter. It wasn't your fault. "</p><p>May motioned for him to join her and Happy at the table. Lunch was ready.</p><p>"I got to go now. You want to come over tomorrow after school? May said it was okay if I had guests."</p><p>"Sure," MJ replied. "I've really missed you."</p><p>"I missed you too. I missed you so much."</p><p>"I'm excited to see you... and Peter?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I'm glad you're okay."</p><p>Peter knew Skip would always be a part of him. He couldn't go back in time and change that. Skip was going to be with him forever. But there were other things- other people, <em>wonderful </em>people- that would be with him forever. Or at least a very long time. So when he answered MJ, he told her the truth.</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>
  <strong>The End.</strong>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For information on sexual abuse, please visit the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Information there is available for all. <a href="https://www.rainn.org/">RAINN.org</a></p><p>If sexual abuse or assault has happened to you, I believe you. There are people that believe you. You did not deserve it. It wasn’t your fault. You are not alone.</p><p>You can do this. Please seek out help and support.</p><p>——————</p><p>I’m finished!! Aaa!!! This was my first Spider-man fic, and I have been overwhelmed by how kind and supportive the fandom I’ve met has been. Thank you so much for reading :)</p>
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